Things you wouldn't think you'd have to tell someone, but you do, more than once.

"Open your eyes while you’re running, pal."

"Oh god, never touch anything in a room that smells this bad."

"I really don't enjoy it when you wipe your nose on my face."

"Please don’t eat things you find on your butt."

Add yours below.

Comments

[TLC]

Ok, how about:

Don't put your feet on the ceiling! (son has a loft bed)

It helps if you pull down your undies before you sit on the potty and before you pee in them! (to my 4 yr old daughter)

and the one I hope I never, ever have to repeat:

No, I won't kiss your penis. Penises aren't for kissing. If you want a kiss I will kiss your face. No, you can't kiss my penis, either. (to my son. Had it been my husband, it would have been an entirely different conversation).

[Dani]

Delurking to say....

"Please don't put Cheerios in your ear. Oh, and not in your brother's ear either."

"We lift the seat and aim for WATER." (Said to my 3 boys AND their father. Daily.)

"How did you wash yourself if there wasn't any soap in the shower?" (to the 11 year old.)

"We go DOWN the slide. DOWN the slide. I said DOWN!!" (If I had a nickel for every time I said THAT....)

"You can't sleep because you are standing in the middle of the living room telling me you can't sleep. Go back to bed." (said nightly to the 6 year old)

[Weeze]

"Do not lock your sister on the porch." And,"No, you can't have another ice pop for your boo-boo. You didn't even draw blood." (Both of these to my four-year-old nephew.)

[mrsfortune]

Can you please take that pencil out of your ear?

[Valorie]

Clever, clever girl, Finslippy! You share a few choice tidbits and get your readers to entertain themselves (105 commiserating, comical comments)while you are busy recovering and packing. As far as I am concerned, you are a GODDESS! XOXOXOXOX

[Valorie]

p.s. I took the survey and reveled in it... YOU ROCK!

[kalki]

God I love surveys. LOVE them.

[Karen Rani]

"Quit licking the inside of the dog's mouth."



" Why are you licking Mommy's jeans?"



"Stop licking the dog snot off the patio door."

[skape7]

"Take that OUT OF YOUR MOUTH"

"If you are going to sit on the potty then you have to SIT"

"Stop chewing your shoes"

"Food goes in your mouth or on your plate, NOT ON THE FLOOR"

"Stop moaning at me and use your words!"

[Andrea]

Said to me just this morning, by husband, on his way out the door to work, after son had an accident in the tub last night.

"Don't forget there's a turd in this towel"

[as-k]

"We don't eat peanuts that we find on the floor of the Salvation Army."

[Canada]

To my son, when he was almost 3:"Oh, no!! You have to SIT on the potty if you need to pee AND poop!"

To his twin sister, during the same incident:"It's nice that you were trying to help. But you only wipe your OWN bum!"

[roo]

Sorry, Dawn-- that's exactly what my toes are for.

[Dana]

My favorite is..."Mommy is NOT a jungle-gym. Stop jumping on my butt!" (This happens every time I lay on my stomach on the floor)

[kristin]

Be gentle with your bits! (to my 3-year-old daughter who's recently discovered her va-jay-jay)

[Lizz]

"Please stop licking the mirror""If you don't stop picking on your brother, he's gonna save up all that anger and beat the crap out of you when your older." (This is said to my 7 year old when he feels the need to torment his 4 year old brother)

[Jen]

"Please stop licking the Pope."On the TV screen, that is. Something about the Pope John Paul newscast drew my son right to it, tongue a-wagging.

[tara]

to my dog, a manly maltese:"please get your weiner off of me" (he will walk up to your feet, stradle them and place his nasty dong on your bare feet while you are sitting on the couch or at the computer)"stop humping the air" (my dog is apparently very lonely)"stop licking your paws" (this is the most annoying noise ever, especially at night)i'm a stay at home mom, so most of my conversations are, sadly, with the dog. the rest of them revolve around the eating, sleeping and pooping of my 6 1/2 month old daughter. i'm really cool, which is why this is my first comment on your blog.

[Carrie]

Don't lick your sister!

[Jennifer]

"Is whining to ME about it making HER stop doing it?"

"Does it feel better when you whine about it?"

"Does whining about it make it get cleaned up faster?"

Oh, and the apparently popular "You have to be gentle to your vagina."

[Mel]

"Please, don't pee on your brother."

[roolalenska]

"No, you cannot drum on the Pee-Pee!"

"No, Mommy doesn't want to smell your poop"

[Tracy]

"No poo-poos in the bidet."

"Stop laughing! It is not funny when your sister drinks her pee."

"Do not, do not, do NOT climb on the dead deer. How many times do I have to say it?"

"My breast is not a handle."

"Get away from me. I have a knife."

[Beth]

"We do not swallow lollipop sticks, right?"

"Don't make Mommy spill her drink."

[Lisa]

Overheard this one last night while my husband was showering with my 3 1/2 year old son(his preferred method of bathing). "Do NOT use my peemie as a handle!"