Things you wouldn't think you'd have to tell someone, but you do, more than once.

"Open your eyes while you’re running, pal."

"Oh god, never touch anything in a room that smells this bad."

"I really don't enjoy it when you wipe your nose on my face."

"Please don’t eat things you find on your butt."

Add yours below.

Comments

[Fairymom]

Okay, I have a few originals to contribute:

Let Daddy go potty by himself!

That's NOT a microphone! (To 21/2yo daughter with Mommy's 'personal massager' - sadly, I've had to say this more than once)

Stop playing in the cat's water dish!

And Mommy wants a million dollars, but that's not going to happen, either. (When daughter is demanding candy/chocolate/cookies or anything else she doesn't really need)

[pam]

Do NOT use a public toilet without putting paper on the seat!

[Tater and Tot]

To Tater:"Why didn't you tell me that your sister was eating the cat food?""There is pee running down your leg, so yes, we have to change your Pull-Up."

To Tot:"Get your mouth off of the trash can!""Do not eat the crayons."

To Tater & Tot:"Do not eat things off of the floor - that's old food. I will fix you new food!""Stop eating the ketchup with your spoon. No, the ketchup is not the meal. The chicken is the meal. You have to dip the chicken in the ketchup. "

My husband to Tater & Tot:"Do not stand on daddy's throat, it hurts."

You really couldn't make this stuff up!

[Kate]

Delurking cuz this is just too good to keep all to myself.

"Who put the kitty poop in the babies ear?"

"Who put the baby in the trashcan?"

We had some problems adjusting to being a big brother.

[Maureen J]

If you are going to sit on Mommy's head you need to have a diaper on first.

[Karen in Ohio]

These are hilarious! Brought me some laughs when I needed them.

I swear to goddess I've said this one every day, sometimes more than once, for at least two years to my 7-yr-old boy: "Close and flush and wash your hands!"

[Indiana (Devon, England)]

Less of a thing I say to my 2 1/2yo daughter, more the thing she constantly says to my stinky wind-tunnel boyfriend."Daddy stinks. Go toilet now ok? Come on daddy, toilet"She carefully takes him by the hand and leads him to the bathroom then proceeds to stand guard whilst he goes.Mine is along the lines of "Please for the love of all that's holy will you get your hands out of your damn nappy. It's dirty!"

[eva woods]

No, don't do that! Daddies aren't for french kissing.(awkward pause)Sorry, honey.

[John Shefer]

I tried a lot of pharmacies out there but the one that gave me the best service with the best price is www.pharmacy-medicine.net you won't believe how they changed my life. thank you pharmacy-medicine i love you.

[Jenny Spyhalski]

~~I'm sorry sweetie but that squirrel you are holding is not your bestfriend - he is in fact DEAD. Please for the LOVE OF GOD put him down.

[andrea]

"Don't worry, I'm not going to make you eat cookies."

"The reason something is always in the last place you look is because once you find it, you QUIT LOOKING!"