Twenty-three skiddoo!
October 13, 2006When Maggie first told me about her book, No One Cares What You Had for Lunch: 100 Ideas for Your Blog, I thought, that’s going to be a great resource--for someone else. For the lame-o who can’t come up with a single topic to post about. Not to put those losers down! But such a book—wonderful as it would undoubtedly be—would nonetheless not be of use to myself, the greatest creative mind of the 21st century.
As in most things, I have been proven wrong. It’s a goldmine of inspiration even for the veteran blogger who thinks she knows her way around these parts. In fact it may be even more useful for such a person, who might be feeling a tad blocked these days, who may be thinking, “I’ve been writing this damn thing for two and a half years and I’ve covered every topic under the sun. I DESERVE TO TELL THEM ABOUT MY LUNCH.”
(Leftover shepherd’s pie and a Fun-Sized Twix bar. See? Haven’t you gained something from knowing that?)
The topic I’ve chosen from Maggie’s book is #14, “Watch Your Language,” in which I am to list some archaic words or phrases I wish would come back into popular use. I have many of these, as I find living in the present highly distasteful. Here are a few:
Vo- dee-oh-do. Sometimes “Vo-dee-oh-do-do.” Either way, it’s a winner. This was used to great effect in the Little Rascals to describe some colorful and suspicious individuals. “They were a couple of vo-dee-oh-dos.” According to Google it was also used in "Laverne and Shirley" as a euphemism for sex, but no one wants to imagine either Laverne or Shirley in that way, so let’s go with the former useage.
Jackanapes and cock of the walk. Preferably used together. “He thinks he’s a real cock of the walk, but I say he’s nothing but a jackanapes.”
Conniptions. No one talks about anyone having conniptions anymore. That’s a shame. I myself make it a habit of having a conniption at least once a day, just to give someone the opportunity to use this glorious word.
…see? I believe everyone should end every statement with “see?” It’ll make you sound like a character in Double Indemnity. At the very least, you’ll sound like my Grandpa. Either way I will love you.
What olde-timey words or phrases would you like to come back? Place your requests here!
Reader Comments (178)
And Heidi, I know someone who is a bona fidescofflaw. The judge told him so right before he (the judge) sentenced him (the scofflaw) to four months for driving w/o a license. So the scofflaw, it is not a dead word!
I used to love using the word "simoleon" instead of "dollar", but who knew the Sims appropriated it ages ago as their currency of choice? They ruin EVERYTHING.
My grandmother used to tell me to pack my "grip" instead of "suitcase", which was hilarious even in 1964.
I'm also a sucker for anything ever uttered by The Honourable Galahad Threepwood in a P.G. Wodehouse novel, but especially this: "It's the maddest, merriest day of all the glad New Year."
My grandmother used to have two great things as kids that she and her sisters called each other when they were "mad" at each other:1) OSR: this stood for Old Snot Rag. Evidently saying "snot" was so heinous, you had to give it an acronym!2) OFFATT: Old Fashioned Fool And Tattle Tale. Okay, this is just AWE-some.
But my as of yet not added words would be:a) calling something queer, meaning peculiar, not meaning homosexualb) saying clothing "suits" you rather than "looks good"c) calling a rainstorm a "gullywasher" or saying it's "raining cats and dogs"d) saying "close doesn't count except in horseshoes and hand grenades."e) Miscreant. It means ne'er-do-well. :-)
...see?
Not everyone is stuck in the present. Some of us are still stuck in 1980. Or 1990. Close enough.
I used the word "hornswoggle" at work a few months ago. People were all, "Whaaaa?"
The phrase "pop some corn" sounds so dreamily old-fashioned, as does "hamburger sandwich."
"Goldbrick" is a good one, too.
Thanks for all the word fun!
My five year old daughter has singlehandedly brought back the return of "take a chill pill" and "chill-ax", although I don't know if 80's phrases can count as old-timey words or not.
Our kids are often rapscallions and ragamuffins, and we prefer floozy or hussy to the more economical 'ho.
And in honor of my father, we have to say, "Home, James!" whenever we pull into our driveway. I don't even know where that comes from.
My favorite right now, though, is "Oh! My stars!" whenever one of our cheeky friends says something ribald.
Fiddlesticks and poppycock.
Piece of work.
As in, "That Alice sure is a piece of work." "And how!"
Our household is also fond of "shenanigans" and "hooligans".