Twenty-three skiddoo!
October 13, 2006When Maggie first told me about her book, No One Cares What You Had for Lunch: 100 Ideas for Your Blog, I thought, that’s going to be a great resource--for someone else. For the lame-o who can’t come up with a single topic to post about. Not to put those losers down! But such a book—wonderful as it would undoubtedly be—would nonetheless not be of use to myself, the greatest creative mind of the 21st century.
As in most things, I have been proven wrong. It’s a goldmine of inspiration even for the veteran blogger who thinks she knows her way around these parts. In fact it may be even more useful for such a person, who might be feeling a tad blocked these days, who may be thinking, “I’ve been writing this damn thing for two and a half years and I’ve covered every topic under the sun. I DESERVE TO TELL THEM ABOUT MY LUNCH.”
(Leftover shepherd’s pie and a Fun-Sized Twix bar. See? Haven’t you gained something from knowing that?)
The topic I’ve chosen from Maggie’s book is #14, “Watch Your Language,” in which I am to list some archaic words or phrases I wish would come back into popular use. I have many of these, as I find living in the present highly distasteful. Here are a few:
Vo- dee-oh-do. Sometimes “Vo-dee-oh-do-do.” Either way, it’s a winner. This was used to great effect in the Little Rascals to describe some colorful and suspicious individuals. “They were a couple of vo-dee-oh-dos.” According to Google it was also used in "Laverne and Shirley" as a euphemism for sex, but no one wants to imagine either Laverne or Shirley in that way, so let’s go with the former useage.
Jackanapes and cock of the walk. Preferably used together. “He thinks he’s a real cock of the walk, but I say he’s nothing but a jackanapes.”
Conniptions. No one talks about anyone having conniptions anymore. That’s a shame. I myself make it a habit of having a conniption at least once a day, just to give someone the opportunity to use this glorious word.
…see? I believe everyone should end every statement with “see?” It’ll make you sound like a character in Double Indemnity. At the very least, you’ll sound like my Grandpa. Either way I will love you.
What olde-timey words or phrases would you like to come back? Place your requests here!
Reader Comments (178)
1) Federal case ("Awww, don't make a federal case about it!")2) Bull honky3) Bully for you!4) Neato burrito5) Cool beans6) Knee high to a grasshopper7) Dollars to Donuts8) Gams/Getaway sticks (legs)9) Heavens to Betsy10) Farmer in the Dell! (my mom used to say that when she was mad)11) Just Like Downtown! (another expression from mom when she saw something fancy)
-Dapper-Groovy-To The Nines-Hot To Trot-Shady (as in not on the up and up)
Swish: adjective meaning swanky, hip, good-looking (Wow, that dress looks SWISH on you!) or even gay (I think he might be a little swish).
Feed the kitty: phrase meaning put coins in the parking meter.
Bring me some heat!: phrase that I originally thought spoke to Grandma's libido, but in reality means to provide a little warm coffee to the cup to heat it up. Pfeh.
Bloody hell
goldarnit
Also: "minx." Very popular in romance novels and subsets thereof, but despite that fact I think it's incredibly sexy.
And I like engaging in colloquies and rather than conversations, especially when it's a colloquy I feel to be beneath me.
Describing something as being "of the first water" is a lapidary reference: the comination of color and clarity in a diamond was called the water. Being of the first water was to be of the highest quality in terms of clarity and purity of color, which makes me worry about the water supply of centuries past.
I'll second skulduggery! I like spelling it with one "l" to make things as difficult and counterintuitive as possible.
I am saving this post and all its comments to my hard drive for easy reference. I shall try to work in one ridiculously outdated word or slang phrase per day.
"Dear" meaning expensive
smarmy
Fiddlesticks"Get the stink out of your britches"Ails, as in "What ails you?"Lord love a duck
I first saw that last one in the P.G. Wodehouse books, and I was thrilled when I heard someone use it for real.
Strumpet is a fabulous wordEar bobs or bob-arettes for earringsGrippers for underwear
Great post idea!
People should say the word "affrighted" It means exactly what is sounds like and it is oh-so-fun to say.
I used the term "foundation garments" today, and my co-worker had no idea what I was talking about. So sad. I hate the words "bra" and "panties." (Panties--EW!) And these days, I need a girdle, but that word is yucky to say, unlike the Victorian and fabulous "foundation garments."
Up with foundation garments!
Sike!
As in,
"I forgot to pay the phonebill. . .sike!"
(It's like just kidding)
we used that (and "conniption-fit") a lot growing up in Brooklyn.
My mother used to say, "Oh my cow in a rowboat," or just "Oh my cow!" when a swear word wasn't feasible.
I've always loved the phrase "my dogs are barking" when talking about my feet being sore or tired.
Try to fit it in whenever possible.