We have a winner
February 2, 2011Well!
Many of you suspected that I wouldn't read every one of those comments, but you are so wrong. You could not be wronger. That was fantastic. I felt like George Bailey at the end of It's a Wonderful Life. Except instead of putting money on the table, you were introducing yourselves. Which is even better than money. I mean, to an extent. Listen, if I were about to go to jail because you weren't pitching in a dollar or two while you waved and told me your life story, I might get annoyed. But thankfully that's not the case. I'm not going to jail! You can all breathe easy.
Reading your comments has been both incredibly cheering and enlightening. First of all, I would invite any of you to my home. Not one of you seemed like a creepy weirdo, which I can only assume means that the creepy weirdos are all too busy lurking to comment. Those of you who piped up are all charming and funny and great. Also, a surprising number of you are in Europe. (I even received one comment in French! Apparently this commenter believes I speak French! Fascinating.) This makes me feel incredibly sophisticated and like my humor is not as crudely American as I believed. Or maybe you come here to laugh at the crude American. Don't tell me which it is. I'm happy either way.
I have also learned a lot about your tastes in cheese. Many of you enjoy cheddar. Muenster and brie were closely tied for second place, and there was much talk of manchego. I am terribly disappointed that none of you mentioned aged gouda. And don't give me your regular-gouda or smoked-gouda bullcrap--aged gouda is where it's at. Find some today!
Aged gouda!
Let's get to the Dirty Secret giveaway, shall we?
I used random.org to generate a number between 1 and 913, which was the number of comments I had as of 10:30 a.m. today, and it gave me this:
And Lucky Number 55 is...Marilyn! 
Look how funny she is. Come ON. I want to invite her over right now. Bring some bunnies, Marilyn. My cat is way too overweight and sluggish to even mildly disable a bunny.
Marilyn, I am emailing you right now. Well, not now. Right after I finish this. I might need a minute to get a glass of water. I'm thirsty. Give me a minute!
Thanks again, everyone!
Reader Comments (31)
Funnily enough, my second favorite cheese is aged gouda! Congratulations Marilyn!
Have you ever had goat gouda? It is sublime.
I would have said this on the last post, where it would have been relevant and called for, but I panicked under the pressure.
I'm going to have to scroll down to find out what this is all about but, yes, Marilyn is SERIOUSLY funny. But I don't want to invite her to my house. I want her to invite me to hers. It sounds like super great fun (probably because I've always wished I could have a farm, even a small five acre one)!
I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say this here, but I think it's possible Marilyn is even funnier than you! Uh oh, will I be banned from posting comments now? I'm sorry. Really! I didn't mean it. You are the funniest woman I know! Way funnier than Marilyn, any day!
Wendy: you are dead to me.
If I buy you your favorite cheese will you love me again?
LOL!
Alice! Aged gouda is the SHIT!
I recently discovered "Beemster XO Reserve" and "Primadonna" and let me tell you, it is some of the best stuff I have ever put in my mouth. And I have put A LOT of things in my mouth. I highly recommend making a trip to your local cheesemonger (I feel certain that Brooklyn has mongers. I am in the classless back-alley of Philadelphia and we have mongers, so you must too), and requesting a sample of each of these. Your life will change for the better.*
*Please note: "better" is a subjective term as technically some people could consider "penniless and fat from cheese" as better. Technically.
Marilyn is very funny and should start a blog. Also, aged gouda is indeed lovely. Mmmm. We need to stop talking about cheese, as I am theoretically trying to lose weight. And I can't help feeling the reading about kittens dragging baby rabbits across one's face might help here.
I can't believe I won!
It's so shocking!
I'm busy being shocked!
Oh my goodness, Marilyn's post just made me laugh out loud. A worthy winner, indeed!
I must have missed the post where I was supposed to talk about cheese.
Apparently you and my friend's four year-old daughter have better taste in cheese than I. I brought some run of the mill 'ordinary' gouda over to their house and the four year old says, "yay! gouda! it's not old gouda?'
No joke.
Marilyn- Congrats! And you are funny! And I agree that you should start a blog. But I won't say you are funnier than Alice, as I don't like being dead to people, because they start quoting that kid from that movie, and really, there is only so many times in life that you can handle hearing "I see dead people." See, you cringed didn't you? So I will happily stay live people. I know that doesn't sound like good word usage, but I find it fitting. Don't you? Also, did you find the babies?
Ha! Congrats Marylin.
Alice, just to tell you that not only you have readers in Europe, but I am from Beirut, Lebanon (Middle East) and I so love your blog.
Nothing wrong with aged gouda, but here in the Netherlands that is so common I kinda forgot about it...
Anyway, all those comments put an end to my prejudice that Americans only eat fake cheese. Everybody wins!
Hello, commenter above me! What is fake cheese? I mean, what do you mean by fake cheese? This is interesting to me.
I'm lactose intolerant, but I'm enjoying your blog anyway. Congratulations Marilyn!
Marily is funny! Congrats Marilyn!
I forgot to mention which cheese I like. Hmmmm...all of them, I think. Goat cheese (with grilled bread and marinara) is yummy. If I'm being honest though, colby-jack melted on, well, pretty much anything, is where it's at.
Alice, you actually READ all those?! Darnit! I was commenter nine hundred and something and kind of just phoned in my comment. Fail. Now we can't be friends because I missed my chance.
I WILL tell you that I recently had St. Andre cheese and Cambozola for the first time and both were heavenly.
This weblog is being featured in Five Star Friday - http://www.schmutzie.com/fivestarfriday/2011/2/3/five-star-fridays-136th-edition-is-brought-to-you-by-rudyard.html
@ February 3, 2011 | rachel
I mean imitation cheese, like they use on Cheeseburgers. I believe that's made without any milk, but with oil.
Could be that I'm watching the wrong movies and documentaries about the USA (most of them made by Europeans who can't help themselves but feel somewhat superior to the New World, to name a few: Top Gear, Stephen Fry)....
I love the idea that the BBC's Top Gear might be considered a source of informed opinion on anything! for anyone who hasn't had the pleasure, take three prog--rock guys with eighties haircuts, blouson leather jackets and stonewashed jeans, give 'em some cars and some stuff to smash up and let 'em have a laugh about global warming, homosexuality, foreigners, gypsies, murdered prostitutes, etc.
Who wouldn't feel intimidated by their superiority?
(I enjoy an aged farmhouse Cheddar and the occasional chevre.)
I'm a lurker who didn't comment on the other post. But everyone seems to be having such a good time commenting that now I want to play!
Also, to share this little cheese story with you.
I like pepperjack cheese. Mostly on sandwiches, but also on crackers. Or in small square bites on toothpicks at parties. So when I moved in with my boyfriend and we were grocery shopping, I would choose pepperjack cheese to have around and he would choose colby (also a good choice). And we settled down into that habit. Then one day he was out of his cheese and so he ate some pepperjack instead. His eyes got big and he looked at me and exclaimed "This cheese is spicy!" like it was a revelation.
"Uh-huh," I said. "Sorta."
"OF COURSE YOU LIKE IT!" he exclaims. "You like all spicy things." (Guilty.) And then he congratulated himself for figuring me out. Ever since then, every time I make a sandwich or tun the cart into the dairy section of the grocery store he says, "you and your spicy cheese!"
Love the funny bunny story. And good gracious, Alice, you read all 925 comments! How long did it take you?
BTW, I LOVE cheese--triple cream brie, butterkase, rocquefort.... the list goes on. And l like wine with my cheese. Lots of wine.
Cheers!
I only just came across the last post, but I wanted to participate in the life-story-sharing stuff too!
I'm 21 years old (almost) and live in Australia, and I've been reading your blog since my first year of uni, four years ago, when I came across a swathe of "mommy blogs" (or as we might spell it down here, "mummy blogs") because I was googling about pregnancy because my best friend got pregnant at 17 (this is starting to sound a little angsty...)
My favourite cheese is Gruyere. And I still love your blog, which is obviously why I continue to read it.
I'm 33, I live in Portugal, I work at a bookstore and I have yet to find a cheese that I don't like.
I guess I'm one of those unreliable lurkers - I didn't read your last post until today! And am annoyed that I missed the contest. Oh well - working mom tapping on the big 4-0. Live in the upper left corner of the U.S. map (but not Alaska). I'm sure I found you some 5 or 6 years ago via a link on another "Mommy" blog when I was pregnant and Henry was barely walking. Now my son is in kindergarten and about to lose his first tooth :( So I feel your pain. Happy 7th!