What every single conversation is like around here.

Me: Okay, it's time to go, so let's—

Henry [throwing himself to the ground]: WHAAAAAaaagh oof!

Me: Henry.

Henry: I really fell! That wasn't a trick!

Me: Yeah. Anyway, as I was saying—

Henry [careening toward the wall]: Oh nooooooo the house is sliding to one side!

Me: Henry, we're late for—

Henry: Oof! Oh, man, I hit that wall hard.

Me: I recommend you stop throwing yourself against hard surfaces. So as I was say—

Henry [his body sliding across the parquet]: HEHHHHHHHHFFFFfff.

Me: Oh, sweet baby Jesus, enough with the wacky pratfalls.

Henry: Now I'm going to hit the couch really hard with my face.

Me: No you're not. No, you're not NO YOU'RE NOT aaand you just did.

Henry: WHAT? That was an accident.

Me: You kind of gave yourself away when you announced it beforehand. Can you just put your socks on OH MY GOD GET UP.

Henry [face down in front of me]: I'M DOING IT. Why are you so grumpy all the time?

Me: Here. Your socks. HERE.

Henry [putting on one sock and then falling over]: WAAAIIIIOOOOOOooough.

Me: You're trying to kill me, aren't you.

Comments

[The Window Seat]

It just hit me. You're raising Calvin from Calvin & Hobbes.

I'm jealous. He's adorable.

[amy]

I always say: If you can't beat them, join them!

[a]

I think the phrase "It's time to go" is like the wind up key for kids. It's so inspirational - they have to find something completely obnoxious, unnecessary, and time consuming to do.

[Cindy]

My 4 1/2 yo daughter is doing this too - it's driving me up a wall because every 3rd time or so she is really hurting herself. She keeps insisting it "on accident". And to make it worse, a lot of times she'll ram into me or trip over me sprawling out on the floor - my favorite is when we're in public and people give me the dirtiest looks for knocking my kid over and making her cry. Glad I'm not alone.

[MommyTime]

I'm nearly wetting myself laughing here -- that silent, it-almost-hurts, kind of laughter because HELLO, LIFE WITH MY FIVE YEAR OLD! We haven't quite gotten into the pratfalls yet, but the "hilarious" jokes that take 492 times longer than putting on socks? We've got that covered. It's nice to know I'm not alone.

[Laurie]

That conversation sure does sound familiar! But it sounds funnier when it's not your own kid.

Antics like those are why every single pair of my sons' pants have holes in the knees!

[Sara]

Why are you writing about my son? His favorite is to scream "Aaaaaah!" and run into walls while we're out in public. Meanwhile his two-year-old sister likes to shout "No breaks! No breaks!" when we drive down hills.

[Marin]

This so reminds me of my brothers when they were little. I'm pretty sure Henry is the coolest kid ever.

[exile on mom street]

Is my son an overachiever?

Cause he's doing this at age 2...

You are not giving me hope for the future.

[jbeeky]

Seriously, living with my six year old son is like cohabitating with Jerry Lewis on the 36th hour of the telethon. Not funny, prone to weeping and non sequitors follwed by fake farting and horrible physical "comedy" routines. Peace

[Daddy Scratches]

Wait, my son lives at YOUR HOUSE too? And he says his name is Henry?

[Shelley]

That sounds very familiar! I don't know how we ever make it anywhere on time.

[hi kooky]

Dear, sweet, quirky boys. Gotta love 'em. I think Henry needs a mime class.

[Frogdancer]

Let's hope he's not still doing this when he's my son's age and you're teaching him to drive...

[Dee]

All three of my boys do this! I have given up trying to understand the male brain. How is falling down on the floor fun? Or better yet falling on top of each other dog pile style? I just don't get it. :)

[ChasingSanity.com]

What HELLIONS! lol j/k

[Stephanie]

haha! I love your blog. It's so funny.

[emily ruth]

& once again i thank you because this means i am not alone...

[Sprite's Keeper]

Huh, my nephew is nine and still does that. (That just made you frown a little, didn't it?)

[Jen]

This is why parents should be allowed to administer regular beatings. Just kidding. Sort of.

[NG]

Oh can I relate to this post! I haven't finished a sentence since 2004.

[pumpkinmama]

I love these entries, because it makes me happy to know that CrazyTown has a population greater than one. I swear Henry is exactly like my son.

[Pink Ronnie]

This is hilarious. I can't quite picture my little baby boy doing this yet, but I'm guessing the time will come.

[kate]

Yeah, why are you so grumpy all the time?? Shheeeesssshhhh. Apparently you just don't fully appreciate a good pratfall. Or six.

[Lisa V]

This is why Buddha invented better living through Chemistry. I medicate everyone in the house until they are complacent zombie robots. And if I run out, I medicate myself until I don't care.